I’ve been quiet here for a while, to state the obvious. So much has happened. I set up this blog to reflect on my personal growth as I undergo my studies in counselling. In life there are times when you need silence, be it blocking people out (their voices, opinions, advice), withdrawing into yourself, be it to hear your own thoughts and instincts. In therapy, silence can be extremely powerful, it can be very loud. From that silence, a lot can awake and be found. I’ve found breakthroughs, strengths, new people, peace, turmoil, old and new, loss and hope, more self-love, more understanding. I have definitely changed. I’d like to hope I change a little every day. It’s the gift of paying attention, the gift of investing mySelf.
One of the best gifts I’ve ever given myself was the gift of therapy since last September. Man, I could have done with it sooner. Life often allows you to meet people you need at that particular time (I don’t mean your therapist, but people you encounter), whether you realise it or not. It is through these people we experience our own reflection. The funny thing is that philosophically speaking, there is no Self without others. There would be no distinction of Self, neither no purpose for it. We learn the value of Self as infants by the behaviour and attitudes communicated from our primary caregivers, which we then internalise. These can be positive or negative. I’ve met a lot of people now who challenge me, in a fucking amazing way. I guess I am in a better place to accept this challenge. And I challenge me. I’m actually pretty proud of myself and recognise changes that a few years ago I didn’t think were possible: speaking my truth and giving my voice power, connecting with people, supporting people the way I have, learning from great thinkers and everyone I’ve met, learning to listen to myself and the deepest parts of my sorrow and pain, some of which is only now getting recognition. It’s all so beautiful and wise.
I’m keeping this post short, only to say: I’m back. It’ll get more personal from hereon. It is all personal.